The Island of the Misfit Toys.

Dear readers,

Do forgive me for my long and unexplained absence. I was busy. Gaining calories...and I am now trying to lose them in the cold, snuggly months to come which does NOT look good for me...BUT I'll let you know how that works out. 

I'm trying out something new....let me know if you like it!

I knew it was a mistake the moment it was over. The dolls I'd treasured for years were scattered on the floor. Brown hair, blue eyes, perfect blushed skin. I always thought their arms were too small and their heads too big but what did it matter now? This was supposed to be behind me. I'm not supposed to care about stupid dolls. Or stupid people. I'm supposed to care about me. Me. Me. ME! In frustration I kicked the baby beanie doll across the room and she sure made a lot of noise. 

"Sydney?" Mum called out. "You alright?" No,Mother. I'm not.

"Syd?" She called out once more, her steps drawing nearer to my bedroom door. 

"Yeah, sorry I just tripped." I responded flatly.

"Be careful, sweetheart." What a dumb word. Sweetheart. What if someone was a bad person? Would they be called 'bitterheart'? As someone who has loved English all her life, words fascinate me but in this particular instance not even "special" or "one of a kind" could make me feel better. Words are nothing. Meaningless. Empty. Bloody. Promises.

I turned my head to see the only doll remaining on my bed staring at me with what seemed to be contempt. He was my favourite, And not even a doll but a bear. A light brown, product of fur teddy bear. And oh my days, how stupid of me. I wasn't even allowed to keep him on my bed because I was allergic to fur. Jev, I had called him.

"What kind of name is Jev?" I'd been asked on several occasions and only now had it dawned on me that it was my kind of name.

"What the hell are you staring at?" I asked, half expecting a reply but my childhood comfort said nothing as I drowned in my teenage angst. I don't remember who but someone told me when I was a kid that toys REALLY came to life when we go to sleep. (Not taken from Toy Story) I used to think Barbie had her own little drunk pool party and all the other toys would roam around my house in the dark hours of the night. Didn't they get tired? What about my so called "son" Jev? He didn't look like a party animal to me. He always wore a sad smile and appeared to be in deep thought. And his brother, Toby, who happens to be a lion cub, didn't seem to enjoy those sort of things either. And yes, a bear and a lion are brothers, oh the unending limitations of a child's imagination. 

So like, I stayed up one day with the thick sheets all the way up to my head and left a crack open for me to look out into the hallway where the store room door was wide open waiting and waiting for the magic to happen. Unbeknownst to a silly 8 year old me, the toys were under my bed. 

But those were silly things and countless times I have wondered why I bothered growing up because you see the magic never really left me..it just...came to a stop.

What did you guys think? x

Until next time guys!

XXO,

Sara Malik.