Back to Grind!

Hey guys!

It's that depressing time of year again where we get back to the grind. All night movie marathons or late night conversations are replaced by 6:00am wake up calls and 8 torturous hours of lessons.

But honestly I'm looking forward to going back to school. Despite the lovely and long deserved break I got I can't be back because I'm going to be in an all new school or pre-college as some might call it.
These 2 years determine which university I'll be going to and that determines where I'm going for the rest of my life. Scary, isn't it?

I found a verse that is really applicable to me and I felt like sharing it because it might help you.

" Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds."

This verse is taken from the Bible from Philippians 4:6-7. It doesn't even matter if you're not a Christian. Or a Muslim. A Buddhist. Hindu. Jewish. Even an atheist. The moral of this verse is not to rush things. If you don't believe in religion then surely you believe in the law of attraction, good things come to you if you believe in good things. It's only a matter of time. As the saying goes;

 "Good things come to those who wait."

You might be starting your year or you might be in the middle of it, whatever it is, all you need is just a little patience.( Yes, I quoted GnR.) 

I don't want to start the year with a long post or tips for that matter because let's face it no amount of advice can prepare you for what may or may not lie ahead of you. It's life. As we've established. It's a bit like a unstable person- it's unpredictable.

But what I would like to share is definitely 4 things and most of them are in the verse above;

1) Be calm and composed. Stressing over something will not contribute to making the situation better. 

2) Be thankful. Joel Osteen puts it this way;

"One of the main reasons that we lose our enthusiasm in life is because we become ungrateful..we let what was once a miracle become common to us. We get so accustomed to its goodness it becomes a routine..” 

3) Make peace your weapon of mass destruction. No I don't mean destroy peoples peace. I mean carry peace with you wherever you go and remain without unnecessary confrontation or conflict. Be a peaceful warrior in every battle you face but DO NOT let people trample all over you.

4) Finally, just be yourself. It's a new year. You get to learn new things and possibly meet new people. It might even be the fresh start you need so look forward to it. I know I am!

So enjoy your new school year, my dear readers!

Have fun and make memories. 

Oh and I might not be able to post as much, although I'm looking at a once or twice a week schedule, if I don't though please forgive me, I'll try my best to keep you all happy.

Summer's over guys!

Until next time,

XXO,

Sara Malik.

Stay Gorgeous XXO.

Hey guys! 

I know I've not been as active but that's because I've been planning something special for y'all! I managed to get hold of a famous local personality! Since I wanted to mix up my style it made it even better that she's a fashion designer and not just any fashion- the fashion that matters the most here in the Middle East! Scarves! So it's with great pleasure that I interviewed Mariam Al-Shaikh, a young and dynamic rising scarf designer in the Middle East!

SW:You're a growing fashion icon in the Middle East! How do you feel about that?

Mariam:It has been an exciting journey to witness my baby "Stay Gorgeous" growing and developing. The experience has been overwhelming so far and I am appreciating every second of it.

SW: What is the driving factor behind Stay Gorgeous?

Mariam:I have mentioned this before and I will keep saying it as long as I'm here; I dream of becoming someone's role model. Not for them to copy me, but to help them shape their own. As long as I can inspire someone with what I'm doing in Stay Gorgeous it will keep going.

       

SW: Do you think people are born with style or is it something they pick up?

Mariam:First we need to identify ourselves with the question "What is style?" I believe that style is not limited to outfits, it is a way of life, it could be our style in studying, our style in doing some work, or our style in communicating with people. Style is more about being who we are. Style is not limited to one thing. Therefore; I think that people are born with style.

     

SW:What does Stay Gorgeous hope to give its fans and customers?

Mariam:Stay Gorgeous is not a complete commercial business. It is set for a cause; to inspire, help, motivate and grow those gorgeous people around us, and I hope that everyone gets the benefit out of it whether it was direct or indirect, young or adult, fashion lover or not, business or charity. We are here to help everyone whenever we can.

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  SW: Do you think there is a difference between "fashion" and "style"?

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Mariam: Yes, there is a huge difference between fashion and style. Fashion is an external relationship; as in what is happening out there in the market? What is trending in stores now days? What is new? From the other hand, style is an internal relationship; "What is happening over here? What is my favorite cut? What colors suit me the most?" Fashion is what is offered to everybody, and style is what you pick from there to fit it in. Fashionable trends could no longer be available, but the way we are stay forever.

 :SWMany girls nowadays are ashamed to wear the traditional clothes that have been worn over time. What do you have to say to them? And how can they improvise on their outfit?

Mariam: Trends and fashion circulate itself; we have been getting trends coming back from the 70's and the 80's. Every old or traditional piece will eventually come back to life, and the fashion history will repeat itself. It is the personal touch and the way the piece is being worn is what makes the difference. The piece could look standard, but what you wear it with and how you accessorize it is what makes the difference. I always recommend ladies to add a scarf to their outfit to upgrade it to another level. It could be a small touch what makes a difference.

SW:What does it take to be in the fashion industry?

Mariam:It takes courage, some people are afraid to try something new, some new colors and shades. I always encourage those who want to take a step forward to break out of their comfort zones because there, is where the magic happens.

 :SWDo you think that clothing really changes the way a person looks?

Mariam: Even though clothing is a strong factor, but I don't recommend people to depend on their clothing to fully represent the way they look, the way a person looks is a mixture of their appearance, personality and their state of mind. Even a smile could represent the way someone looks. I usually recommend people to focus on all of these things to appear their best.

SW: For reasons obvious to human nature not everybody is easy to deal with. So how do you deal with arrogant clients?

Mariam: I haven't been in an incident where I met someone arrogant. I generally try to give every gorgeous lady a good treatment and try to satisfy her whether by styling, giving tips, and recommending scarves on outfits.

 :SWI simply adore your style! Do you think it reflects your personal fashion sense? What do you describe your style as?

Mariam: Thank you! Since high school my fashion sense is the first noticeable factor about me, it reflects a little of my mood; which is bright and colorful most of the time. I describe my style as a mixture of classic and casual, I usually try to add a scarf to upgrade it to outstanding, and of course dress up according to the occasions.

:SW Has the fashion industry made an impact on you as a person? If so, what have you learnt?

Mariam: It made me realize that the way a person looks represents their relationship with themselves. As well as not to make a first impression based on one's appearance, as human beings we usually tend to make a judgment about someone from the way he or she looks, it is true that it tells about the person but it does not reveal who they are completely.

SW:  Unfortunately that's all we have time for today. Can we hope to hear more from you in the future? Maybe a woman's clothing line?

Mariam: Thank you for considering Stay Gorgeous to be featured in your blog as I am updated with your posts. I will keep my relationship with clothes as a stylist, as for designing I will always be a scarf designer.

I hope you guys enjoyed Mariam's interview as much as I enjoyed interviewing her! She's a very determined young woman and an upcoming name in the fashion industry I hope to hear more from her in the near future!

You can find Mariam and the Stay Gorgeous foundation on Instagram!
Or email your orders at staygorgeous.orders@gmail.com
You can also contact Mariam at +97339129591

Until next time,
XXO,
Sara Malik.

Frustration.

Hey guys.

So I found that many of you were quite interested in the Depression post and I reckon that a follow up wouldn't be so bad.

Let's not talk about depression though. 
Let's talk about 

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-O-N.

Let me start by saying that the human emotion is both the most fragile and beautiful thing in the world.

We are given the unique opportunity to feel empathy. Love. Pain. Anger. And yes, frustration.

But unlike animals who have God-given instincts in order to survive once an emotion arises, we thirst after the very same thing that is the root cause of our distress or worse- we become the animal Charles Darwin made our ancestors out to be. 

Frustration means that your emotions are a slave to your thoughts and you are a slave to your emotions. I don't believe in emotions as single words because they are not. Frustration is not just simply 'frustration' it is accompanied by 'anger'. Toni Morrison puts it perfectly;

“Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever."

The tongue, my dear readers is a sharp double edged sword.

It has the power to both heal and hurt. 

The end result of frustration and anger is only PAIN, PAIN AND OH YEAH, PAIN.

It's like;

I'm falling. 

I'm falling.

Please. Catch me.

No wait, don't. 

In the words of the famous Christina Perri song;
"I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown."

 I'm sitting here and eating my French toast which should be accompanied by a berry juice or something but instead water has taken its place(because my Mother insists on me having clear liquids in my body) and I'm thinking about the root cause of Frustration.

It's honestly simple.

Frustration is a result of trying to keep a law. The human nature is idealistic by default. We want everything to go our way. For people to do what we want them to do. It is trying to do something we simply cannot do. It isn't about not "trying" because as idealists we mould and shape the situation and toy with scenarios then finally when it goes haywire in the slightest we overreact. So what's the solution? To stop expecting? Hoping?

No way.

A person who is frustrated would probably say as Jonathan Safran Foer did;

“I feel too much. That's what's going on.' 'Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?' 'My insides don't match up with my outsides.' 'Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?' 'I don't know. I'm only me.' 'Maybe that's what a person's personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.' 'But it's worse for me.' 'I wonder if everyone thinks it's worse for him.' 'Probably. But it really is worse for me.” 

The solution is to stop trying to be a perfectionist. 
Many people feel like what they're doing is right but you don't and this makes them strive to be perfect and they never reach the mark because whatever they do is never enough so people stop trying.
Discouragement leads to depression, self hatred, rebellion and more.
It is unrealistic to believe you can rid yourself of frustration forever, but you can learn to do things to minimize your frustrations and to make sure you do not engage in unhealthy responses to frustration.
You will need to learn to distinguish between what you hope will happen, what will probably happen, and what actually happened.  Life inevitably has its ups and downs -- its moments of relaxation and times of tension. When you learn to truly accept this reality, you come one step closer to being able to deal with frustration in a healthy way.

There are several types of problems that we encounter in everyday living: those which you know can be solved, those which you are not sure if they can be solved or not, those you know are totally out of your control, and those you are so confused about that you do not even know what the problem is.  You need to be able to accurately assess your abilities to alter situations that prevent you from solving your problems and reaching your goal.  Then you will be able to assess which of the types of problems you have encountered, and you will then be able to develop a realistic plan.

Don't frustrate someone to the point of a meltdown. Constantly stopping to explain oneself may expand into a frustrating burden for the rare individual, so ceasing to do so is like finally dropping the weights and sprinting towards his goals. Those who insincerely misunderstand, who intentionally distort the motives of a pure-intentioned individual, then, no longer have the opportunity to block his path; instead, they are the ones left to stand on the sidelines shouting frustratedly in the wind of his trail.

Everyone deserves to live each day happily and care-free. 
Don't be the block standing in their way.

On a lighter note, Donna Barr says to men;
"Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They're a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying so she won't cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful."

Until next time guys!
XXO,
Sara Malik. ©

Life in Death.

Dear readers,

I woke up this morning to the biggest tragedy.
Robin Williams is dead.
He committed suicide.

 It is heartbreaking to think of what his family must be going through.

As someone who has been through depression I can say that it is not in the slightest bit easy.
People tell you "Snap out of it." or "It gets better" but it just doesn't.

Robin Williams once said; "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."

He was so right. Every word rings the truth. Being human means being vulnerable and people often misuse that very trait that they possess. It must take a person to be pushed to the very edge to have taken such a drastic step. I do believe it is true now when people say that the happiest people are the ones that are broken inside.

Depression is something everyone should be aware of. If you have a friend or even someone you know who is depressed or considering suicide please PLEASE help them or report it to someone who is in the position to help them, waiting will only make it worse and yes, it will also partly be your fault if something happens to them. You can't help somebody who refuses to help themselves but you CAN try.

Depression is merely more than just a bad mood. It is related to the body/mind. People feel completely alone and down, anxious and a deep rooted sadness which might not have any apparent cause. It is simply not true when people say that "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It does kill you. Slowly but surely until you are just trying to get through each day.

People tell others that they're just having a bad day or that they will get through it but what those people forget is that our bodies are merely hosts which are being inhabited by our souls. We will all die eventually. It is the only thing certain from the moment we are born. It is as I like to say, inevitable.

I think everyone fails to realise that no one is put here without a purpose. And while we are here we should try as much as we can to make everyone's lives a little easier so that they can fulfill their intended purpose a little more peacefully. Another important thing to remember is that one of their purposes may be to help someone else who is meant to help another and so on and messing with that balance well....would anyone want that?

“Some friends don't understand this. They don't understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you're wonderful just the way you are. They don't understand that I can't remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about If you loved me you would.”
― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

Be that friend. Be that person. Be there. Keep showing up no matter how hard it gets. You might be the start of a chain of purposes.

Until next time guys.
XXO,
Sara Malik. ©

Bereft.

Helloooooooooooooooo readers. I trust your week has been good and now the weekend is here!
Honestly there isn't much to do but somehow I get by. :)

Lately, I've been feeling bereft, which happens to be the title of a poem written by one of my favourite authors, Robert Frost.

Where had I heard this wind before

Change like this to a deeper roar? 

What would it take my standing there for,

Holding open a restive door,

Looking down hill to a frothy shore? 

Summer was past and the day was past.

Sombre clouds in the west were massed.

Out on the porch's sagging floor,

Leaves got up in a coil and hissed,

Blindly struck at my knee and missed.

Something sinister in the tone

Told me my secret must be known:

Word I was in the house alone

Somehow must have gotten abroad,

Word I was in my life alone,

Word I had no one left but God. 

Source(s): StudyMode/Enote.

The poem describes a night in the life of a lonely man. The title, "Bereft" indicates that he has lost someone, leaving him "…alone" in his life. There is no evidence to suggest that the speaker is either female or male, nor is there any reason to doubt that the poet is the speaker. The speaker is very aware of sounds and movement around him, as one would be if alone. He believes that nature has orchestrated a "sinister… tone", because the secret of his loneliness has been discovered: "…my secret must be known". It seems to the speaker that nature is taking advantage of his solitude and attempting to intimidate him with its "roaring" winds, its "somber clouds" and its "sagging floor". The tone that is created at the beginning of the poem is an almost frightening one, as all the details of the dark night are listed. 

Although the poem is intended  for someone I personally relate it to myself. Being alone opens up ones attention span and thus they are more alert to their surroundings noticing the most trivial things about life. To say I have never completely felt alone would not only be dramatic but false. But grief as it is widely known is followed by wallowing self pity. 

Recently in my Neverland, a 19-year old boy, a fresh graduate and newly licensed driver met with an accident which took his life. Not that I was personally acquainted with the guy but I'd seen him around. He was somebody's son. Somebody's friend. But that's just putting it mildy. Truth be told? He was somebody. He had dreams. He had hopes. He had plans. Things he wanted to do. And he wasn't even given the chance to do that. 

So yeah, I'm feeling bereft and also extremely selfish because here I am with my whole life ahead of me. Or a day for all I know. 

I used to be obsessed with Archie Comics and although when I look back they were just about the constant love triangle between Archie-Betty-Veronica.( Yes, I always rooted for Betty) The only good thing I picked up was "Carpe Diem" which is Latin for "Seize the day". 

If you do the Maths(which I absolutely despise) one day is equivalent to 24 hours. Wow. A lot can happen in a week let alone a day. You can read 2 books. People are born. People die. You get the picture.

Anthony Robbins puts it quite simply; "Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."

It is said that you should not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has its own worries and with this I wholeheartedly agree. If we had all the time in the world human beings would all have the trait of patience but I think somewhere at the back of our minds we realize that time flies and this builds up anxiety and brings out the humanity in us which is desiring more than we can have or achieve.

But nobody ever said our imagination should be limited. After all, we do have opposable thumbs and the ability to think and strategize. We can achieve anything and everything we set our minds to. We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken. Remember you only lose the game(yes, life IS a game and a dangerous one too!)when you give up. Life's too short to even care at all! Play it smart.

Carpe Diem my dear readers. 

Seize the day. 

You might not get another.

Until next time,

XXO

Sara Malik. ©