Frustration.

Hey guys.

So I found that many of you were quite interested in the Depression post and I reckon that a follow up wouldn't be so bad.

Let's not talk about depression though. 
Let's talk about 

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-O-N.

Let me start by saying that the human emotion is both the most fragile and beautiful thing in the world.

We are given the unique opportunity to feel empathy. Love. Pain. Anger. And yes, frustration.

But unlike animals who have God-given instincts in order to survive once an emotion arises, we thirst after the very same thing that is the root cause of our distress or worse- we become the animal Charles Darwin made our ancestors out to be. 

Frustration means that your emotions are a slave to your thoughts and you are a slave to your emotions. I don't believe in emotions as single words because they are not. Frustration is not just simply 'frustration' it is accompanied by 'anger'. Toni Morrison puts it perfectly;

“Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever."

The tongue, my dear readers is a sharp double edged sword.

It has the power to both heal and hurt. 

The end result of frustration and anger is only PAIN, PAIN AND OH YEAH, PAIN.

It's like;

I'm falling. 

I'm falling.

Please. Catch me.

No wait, don't. 

In the words of the famous Christina Perri song;
"I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown."

 I'm sitting here and eating my French toast which should be accompanied by a berry juice or something but instead water has taken its place(because my Mother insists on me having clear liquids in my body) and I'm thinking about the root cause of Frustration.

It's honestly simple.

Frustration is a result of trying to keep a law. The human nature is idealistic by default. We want everything to go our way. For people to do what we want them to do. It is trying to do something we simply cannot do. It isn't about not "trying" because as idealists we mould and shape the situation and toy with scenarios then finally when it goes haywire in the slightest we overreact. So what's the solution? To stop expecting? Hoping?

No way.

A person who is frustrated would probably say as Jonathan Safran Foer did;

“I feel too much. That's what's going on.' 'Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?' 'My insides don't match up with my outsides.' 'Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?' 'I don't know. I'm only me.' 'Maybe that's what a person's personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.' 'But it's worse for me.' 'I wonder if everyone thinks it's worse for him.' 'Probably. But it really is worse for me.” 

The solution is to stop trying to be a perfectionist. 
Many people feel like what they're doing is right but you don't and this makes them strive to be perfect and they never reach the mark because whatever they do is never enough so people stop trying.
Discouragement leads to depression, self hatred, rebellion and more.
It is unrealistic to believe you can rid yourself of frustration forever, but you can learn to do things to minimize your frustrations and to make sure you do not engage in unhealthy responses to frustration.
You will need to learn to distinguish between what you hope will happen, what will probably happen, and what actually happened.  Life inevitably has its ups and downs -- its moments of relaxation and times of tension. When you learn to truly accept this reality, you come one step closer to being able to deal with frustration in a healthy way.

There are several types of problems that we encounter in everyday living: those which you know can be solved, those which you are not sure if they can be solved or not, those you know are totally out of your control, and those you are so confused about that you do not even know what the problem is.  You need to be able to accurately assess your abilities to alter situations that prevent you from solving your problems and reaching your goal.  Then you will be able to assess which of the types of problems you have encountered, and you will then be able to develop a realistic plan.

Don't frustrate someone to the point of a meltdown. Constantly stopping to explain oneself may expand into a frustrating burden for the rare individual, so ceasing to do so is like finally dropping the weights and sprinting towards his goals. Those who insincerely misunderstand, who intentionally distort the motives of a pure-intentioned individual, then, no longer have the opportunity to block his path; instead, they are the ones left to stand on the sidelines shouting frustratedly in the wind of his trail.

Everyone deserves to live each day happily and care-free. 
Don't be the block standing in their way.

On a lighter note, Donna Barr says to men;
"Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They're a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying so she won't cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful."

Until next time guys!
XXO,
Sara Malik. ©

Heroes.

Hello dear readers,

I have been extremely busy and I apologize for not posting. My grandparents have come down for a visit and I have been spending all my time with them. I will try my very best to post more often! :)

"We can be heroes just for one day."

When one talks about a hero they are referring to  a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements or notable qualities and rightly so because this is exactly what they are taught to believe. But despite this notion I strongly disagree.

Like any good writer I had to look up the definition to ensure that I wasn't giving out false information and also for my personal knowledge. As children we're given the impression that heroes are the Princes and people we read about in stories. As we slowly transition into adolescence heroes are those that carry out noble acts like helping an old woman cross the street or standing up to a thief for a stranger and then finally when you reach adulthood heroes are DEAD.

When I looked further into the definition I found that a Hero is someone who is the chief character in a story and this struck me as perfect. A lot of times we are so caught up in other peoples lives and trying to shape and mould ours to be like theirs that we forget about the thing that really matters. OUR life. We're still living after all aren't we?

The real heroes in my opinion are really the people that go through a lot and still keep going. Those that have to willingly forfeit a lot of things in life. Those that don't manipulate their way out of a situation but rather handle it gracefully. Those that eventually accept that it is what it is and carry on with their life smiling. Those are the real heroes. The real hero is YOU. 

Heroism is not about doing heroic things but rather about being yourself. You are the chief character of your story and you can take control of it. I've always been able to convince myself that I am NOT a hero up until now but I realized that ultimately demoralizing myself was the only thing standing in my way.
Heroism is endurance for just one more moment.
And not only I, but everybody out there is enduring something or the other.

More simply put, someone once said that everybody is insane but some people are just better at hiding it.
I don't believe this is true. Everybody is surely insane but it is this insanity that drives them to want to do better. Like Albert Campus once said; "Heroism is accessible. Happiness is more difficult."

I read once in a book called Paper Towns that the human anatomy is made up of strings. The author says the following:

"Here's what's not beautiful about it: from here, you can't see the rust or the cracked paint or whatever, but you can tell what the place really is. You can see how fake it all is. It's not even hard enough to be made out of plastic. It's a paper town. I mean, look at it, Q: look at all those culs-de-sac, those streets that turn in on themselves, all the houses that were built to fall apart. All those paper people living in their paper houses, burning the future to stay warm. All the paper kids drinking beer some bum bought for them at the paper convenience store. Everyone demented with the mania of owning things. All the things paper-thin and paper-frail. And all the people, too. I've lived here for eighteen years and I have never once in my life come across anyone who cares about anything that matters."

It is the exact same thing with heroism. Everything and everyone appears hunky dory but you can feel the urgency in the air. The urgency for the paper to be torn and exposed. In other words, the urgency to be yourself. Not everybody will like it, not everybody will care but it is what most definitely makes you a hero.



As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said; "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." 
You, my dear readers are the true heroes.
Not Robin Hood.
Not Superman.
You. 
Good old you. :) 

On a lighter note, I have been complaining ALL Summer about how I haven't been swimming and yesterday I finally went! Summer sure feels good.

Until next time,
XXO
Sara Malik.©