Frustration.

Hey guys.

So I found that many of you were quite interested in the Depression post and I reckon that a follow up wouldn't be so bad.

Let's not talk about depression though. 
Let's talk about 

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-O-N.

Let me start by saying that the human emotion is both the most fragile and beautiful thing in the world.

We are given the unique opportunity to feel empathy. Love. Pain. Anger. And yes, frustration.

But unlike animals who have God-given instincts in order to survive once an emotion arises, we thirst after the very same thing that is the root cause of our distress or worse- we become the animal Charles Darwin made our ancestors out to be. 

Frustration means that your emotions are a slave to your thoughts and you are a slave to your emotions. I don't believe in emotions as single words because they are not. Frustration is not just simply 'frustration' it is accompanied by 'anger'. Toni Morrison puts it perfectly;

“Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever."

The tongue, my dear readers is a sharp double edged sword.

It has the power to both heal and hurt. 

The end result of frustration and anger is only PAIN, PAIN AND OH YEAH, PAIN.

It's like;

I'm falling. 

I'm falling.

Please. Catch me.

No wait, don't. 

In the words of the famous Christina Perri song;
"I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown."

 I'm sitting here and eating my French toast which should be accompanied by a berry juice or something but instead water has taken its place(because my Mother insists on me having clear liquids in my body) and I'm thinking about the root cause of Frustration.

It's honestly simple.

Frustration is a result of trying to keep a law. The human nature is idealistic by default. We want everything to go our way. For people to do what we want them to do. It is trying to do something we simply cannot do. It isn't about not "trying" because as idealists we mould and shape the situation and toy with scenarios then finally when it goes haywire in the slightest we overreact. So what's the solution? To stop expecting? Hoping?

No way.

A person who is frustrated would probably say as Jonathan Safran Foer did;

“I feel too much. That's what's going on.' 'Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?' 'My insides don't match up with my outsides.' 'Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?' 'I don't know. I'm only me.' 'Maybe that's what a person's personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.' 'But it's worse for me.' 'I wonder if everyone thinks it's worse for him.' 'Probably. But it really is worse for me.” 

The solution is to stop trying to be a perfectionist. 
Many people feel like what they're doing is right but you don't and this makes them strive to be perfect and they never reach the mark because whatever they do is never enough so people stop trying.
Discouragement leads to depression, self hatred, rebellion and more.
It is unrealistic to believe you can rid yourself of frustration forever, but you can learn to do things to minimize your frustrations and to make sure you do not engage in unhealthy responses to frustration.
You will need to learn to distinguish between what you hope will happen, what will probably happen, and what actually happened.  Life inevitably has its ups and downs -- its moments of relaxation and times of tension. When you learn to truly accept this reality, you come one step closer to being able to deal with frustration in a healthy way.

There are several types of problems that we encounter in everyday living: those which you know can be solved, those which you are not sure if they can be solved or not, those you know are totally out of your control, and those you are so confused about that you do not even know what the problem is.  You need to be able to accurately assess your abilities to alter situations that prevent you from solving your problems and reaching your goal.  Then you will be able to assess which of the types of problems you have encountered, and you will then be able to develop a realistic plan.

Don't frustrate someone to the point of a meltdown. Constantly stopping to explain oneself may expand into a frustrating burden for the rare individual, so ceasing to do so is like finally dropping the weights and sprinting towards his goals. Those who insincerely misunderstand, who intentionally distort the motives of a pure-intentioned individual, then, no longer have the opportunity to block his path; instead, they are the ones left to stand on the sidelines shouting frustratedly in the wind of his trail.

Everyone deserves to live each day happily and care-free. 
Don't be the block standing in their way.

On a lighter note, Donna Barr says to men;
"Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They're a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying so she won't cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful."

Until next time guys!
XXO,
Sara Malik. ©

Life in Death.

Dear readers,

I woke up this morning to the biggest tragedy.
Robin Williams is dead.
He committed suicide.

 It is heartbreaking to think of what his family must be going through.

As someone who has been through depression I can say that it is not in the slightest bit easy.
People tell you "Snap out of it." or "It gets better" but it just doesn't.

Robin Williams once said; "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."

He was so right. Every word rings the truth. Being human means being vulnerable and people often misuse that very trait that they possess. It must take a person to be pushed to the very edge to have taken such a drastic step. I do believe it is true now when people say that the happiest people are the ones that are broken inside.

Depression is something everyone should be aware of. If you have a friend or even someone you know who is depressed or considering suicide please PLEASE help them or report it to someone who is in the position to help them, waiting will only make it worse and yes, it will also partly be your fault if something happens to them. You can't help somebody who refuses to help themselves but you CAN try.

Depression is merely more than just a bad mood. It is related to the body/mind. People feel completely alone and down, anxious and a deep rooted sadness which might not have any apparent cause. It is simply not true when people say that "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It does kill you. Slowly but surely until you are just trying to get through each day.

People tell others that they're just having a bad day or that they will get through it but what those people forget is that our bodies are merely hosts which are being inhabited by our souls. We will all die eventually. It is the only thing certain from the moment we are born. It is as I like to say, inevitable.

I think everyone fails to realise that no one is put here without a purpose. And while we are here we should try as much as we can to make everyone's lives a little easier so that they can fulfill their intended purpose a little more peacefully. Another important thing to remember is that one of their purposes may be to help someone else who is meant to help another and so on and messing with that balance well....would anyone want that?

“Some friends don't understand this. They don't understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you're wonderful just the way you are. They don't understand that I can't remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about If you loved me you would.”
― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

Be that friend. Be that person. Be there. Keep showing up no matter how hard it gets. You might be the start of a chain of purposes.

Until next time guys.
XXO,
Sara Malik. ©

Bereft.

Helloooooooooooooooo readers. I trust your week has been good and now the weekend is here!
Honestly there isn't much to do but somehow I get by. :)

Lately, I've been feeling bereft, which happens to be the title of a poem written by one of my favourite authors, Robert Frost.

Where had I heard this wind before

Change like this to a deeper roar? 

What would it take my standing there for,

Holding open a restive door,

Looking down hill to a frothy shore? 

Summer was past and the day was past.

Sombre clouds in the west were massed.

Out on the porch's sagging floor,

Leaves got up in a coil and hissed,

Blindly struck at my knee and missed.

Something sinister in the tone

Told me my secret must be known:

Word I was in the house alone

Somehow must have gotten abroad,

Word I was in my life alone,

Word I had no one left but God. 

Source(s): StudyMode/Enote.

The poem describes a night in the life of a lonely man. The title, "Bereft" indicates that he has lost someone, leaving him "…alone" in his life. There is no evidence to suggest that the speaker is either female or male, nor is there any reason to doubt that the poet is the speaker. The speaker is very aware of sounds and movement around him, as one would be if alone. He believes that nature has orchestrated a "sinister… tone", because the secret of his loneliness has been discovered: "…my secret must be known". It seems to the speaker that nature is taking advantage of his solitude and attempting to intimidate him with its "roaring" winds, its "somber clouds" and its "sagging floor". The tone that is created at the beginning of the poem is an almost frightening one, as all the details of the dark night are listed. 

Although the poem is intended  for someone I personally relate it to myself. Being alone opens up ones attention span and thus they are more alert to their surroundings noticing the most trivial things about life. To say I have never completely felt alone would not only be dramatic but false. But grief as it is widely known is followed by wallowing self pity. 

Recently in my Neverland, a 19-year old boy, a fresh graduate and newly licensed driver met with an accident which took his life. Not that I was personally acquainted with the guy but I'd seen him around. He was somebody's son. Somebody's friend. But that's just putting it mildy. Truth be told? He was somebody. He had dreams. He had hopes. He had plans. Things he wanted to do. And he wasn't even given the chance to do that. 

So yeah, I'm feeling bereft and also extremely selfish because here I am with my whole life ahead of me. Or a day for all I know. 

I used to be obsessed with Archie Comics and although when I look back they were just about the constant love triangle between Archie-Betty-Veronica.( Yes, I always rooted for Betty) The only good thing I picked up was "Carpe Diem" which is Latin for "Seize the day". 

If you do the Maths(which I absolutely despise) one day is equivalent to 24 hours. Wow. A lot can happen in a week let alone a day. You can read 2 books. People are born. People die. You get the picture.

Anthony Robbins puts it quite simply; "Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."

It is said that you should not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has its own worries and with this I wholeheartedly agree. If we had all the time in the world human beings would all have the trait of patience but I think somewhere at the back of our minds we realize that time flies and this builds up anxiety and brings out the humanity in us which is desiring more than we can have or achieve.

But nobody ever said our imagination should be limited. After all, we do have opposable thumbs and the ability to think and strategize. We can achieve anything and everything we set our minds to. We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken. Remember you only lose the game(yes, life IS a game and a dangerous one too!)when you give up. Life's too short to even care at all! Play it smart.

Carpe Diem my dear readers. 

Seize the day. 

You might not get another.

Until next time,

XXO

Sara Malik. ©

Acquiesce.

Ciao my dear readers,

This week has been extremely exhausting and don't bother asking what I did because I myself don't fully recall, but thankfully tomorrow is Thursday which marks the weekend in my little Neverland which is Bahrain.

As usual I was researching all the possible things I could write about when I came across a site with interesting words. The one in particular that stood out to me was:

Acquiesce.

To consent or comply passively or without protest.

I've found that everyone has a dream and often that dream well....remains a dream.  People start out with big dreams and plans and eventually resign themselves to a fate that they believe to be theirs they become content working a regular job and living a regular life. Until one day they stop and look out at their life realizing that it's not what they had always dreamed about. They've gotten stuck in this monotonous, never-changing life that doesn't live up to what they'd hoped. And now in this realization, they start to lose that optimism that kept them going before of being something more.

More simply put- If you've heard the song Pompeii by Bastille you probably never gave much thought to the in depth meaning.

But it goes a little something like this.

Whether it be via large contributions(wars, poverty) or small ones(failed relationships, hopelessness) we inadvertently are the causes of the downfalls in our world. Our vices(greed, lust, wrong doings) are clearly visible in our everyday lives. Our world. Our life. We. Are all incredibly and fatally flawed. We have several hamartia's.  Over and over in anyone's life, there are problems and difficulties. Yet, when we "close our eyes" (stop thinking about the problems themselves), we realize that despite our recognition of these flaws, we really haven't changed our attitudes at all to help make things better ("nothing's changed at all"). For that reason, we keep making the same mistakes over and over again — we've "been here before," and we're making the same mistakes again, one reason why the metaphor of Pompeii and it's destruction is brilliant for this song. We want to change everything that's going wrong, when maybe we should be looking to change ourselves and our own shortcomings. 

One of the most powerful lines of the song conveys this message — "Where do we begin? The rubble or our sins?" In other words, do we just clean up and hide our messes, or do we dig for the root of the problem first? It seems to suggest that the first option will lead to continued failure and an endless cycle of destruction.

When you think about it the answer is right there in the title. 

Clouds rolled over the hills, bringing darkness over Pompeii when Mount Vesuvius erupted. 

The people were caught in their vices and in their daily activities, in poses as the dust of the eruption settled. 

And, perhaps most unsettlingly: 

Does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all? 

Well, of course it would. If a person from Pompeii, in the days when it was alive, visited the place as it is now, with the people frozen in time under the ash, they might almost feel as if nothing were different, when in fact nothing is the same at all. 

It's kind of disturbing when you look at it like that.

When did we start giving in and giving up? 

I doubt that if we were to start our lives over as kids that we would begin viewing them in ruins. There is hope. There is light. There is love. We are just too caught up in what's going on to plan ahead. To tell ourselves that this too shall pass. And it will. We will keep moving forward. We will keep dreaming. Our old dreams will still be dreams that we desire to accomplish. Life goes on and it doesn't wait for anyone.

In the same way we too will go on with our lives building cities from the ashes. 

Don't settle for acquiesce, guys.

DREAM AND ACCOMPLISH!

Until next time,

XXO

Sara Malik.©